Reflections Under The Stars
by arteotakupe
Summary: Northampton had taken a toll on all of them, but they honestly didn't think it would follow them back to New York. Now April thinks it's time for them to let it out in order to be prepared for the next challenges coming their way.


**This fic is a collab with one of my best friends in this world, the amazing Ginger (here known as RaisingGinger1025). We're writing this together, and being each other's beta hahahaa**

 **Well, we hope you like it and we don't own any version of TMNT. If we did, it would have more female characters in the Nick show already XD**

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Leo shook his head slightly and tightened his grip on the handle of his katana, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, trying to focus. It was the fifth time he failed to perform that kata and he was growing more and more frustrated. Something so simple he could perform it with his eyes closed, but now there was something else bothering him and he couldn't do even the most simple katas without failing at least three attempts.

He opened his eyes and, with a determined glare, he tried once again. One move, two, three... But then his left foot slipped more than it should and he almost lost his balance again. With a deep frustrated groan, he stabbed the floor of the dojo and left his katana there. Then he sat down facing his weapon of choice, crossing his legs and covering his face in his hands.

She wouldn't just get out of his mind. The more he would try to focus on something else, the more she would crawl deeper into his mind, like the sneaky serpent she was now. She needed help more than ever, and every time he tried to rescue her, it always was useless, as the Shredder also always had a way to get her back under his control...

Leo could feel his heart break every time he imagined the look on her face, the exact opposite of how he had come to know her. The Karai he had managed to get out of her, one who longed to a real family, had been selfishly stolen by Shredder. It was all replaced by a lifeless puppet of the man in question, who could kill him or anyone within a matter of seconds and not think twice.

He sighed, moving his hands away from his face and staring at the weapon before him. What could they do, though? Of course there was a way to fix her, bring her back to the real world, but it was impossible. Not to mention dangerous, but just thinking about how badly Splinter wanted her back. How much Leo himself wanted her back. It was overwhelming.

The turtle, sitting motionless, had not detected another presence in the dojo, blue eyes glancing curiously over at him. April had been coming in to see if he had been hungry, Casey having made a trip up to the surface to grab a few boxes of pizza. She hadn't expected to see the strong leader in blue collapsed on the ground, glaring at his weapon. A part of her told her to just leave him be, he'll come when he wants to. Yet another part, almost a small voice in her head, told her to wait. Leonardo hadn't been keen on sharing what he thought lately, and one didn't need to be a scientist to know something was bugging him. April couldn't open him up, though. None of them could.

She had to try, though. They needed their leader back with them, not hiding away and shielding all emotion from them. So with a sudden burst of confidence, she stepped further into the dojo towards Leonardo, clearing her throat to gain his attention.

He didn't even move.

The red-head waited for a moment, but he still had no reaction, so she walked over to him quietly and knelt by his side.

"Hey Leo." She spoke softly. "Casey brought pizza. We're gonna eat now, so I came here to call you."

"Thanks... But I'm not hungry now..." He replied quietly, lowering his gaze to his hands for a second and then looked up at her with a faint smile. "You can go with them, I'll stay here a little longer."

April glanced at his sword in front of them. She knew there was something off. Looking back at his face, taking note of the flash of pain or sadness that crossed his face, she knew she had to try and get something out of him.

"Are you...are you alright?" She managed to ask, trying to choose her words carefully. April didn't want to force him to talk, but at least try to coax him into it.

Sighing softly, he slowly shook his head. "Nothing's wrong...just haven't been sleeping well, I guess." He replied softly.

Yeah, because April had heard that excuse before. Clearly something was wrong, and if he wouldn't tell her, then she'd somehow have to put the puzzle together herself.

"So what's wrong?" She tried asking again, her signature attitude coming into play with her words. Not that she wanted to intimidate him or get annoyed with him, but Leo was a kind and fairly quiet person. He could go on for years holding something heavy in his heart and no one would be the wiser, but April refused to let this happen.

Leo must have picked up on what she was attempting, because he then stated with slightly more firmness in his voice, "I told you, I'm fine."

"I... I know that's not true." April softly argued, once again choosing her words carefully. "Something is wrong, and I want to help. You can talk to me, the others don't have to know."

"Nobody has to know because I'm fine." This time he had snapped at her, both of them flinching at the harsh sounding words. He regretted letting them slip out in that manner, but she was asking for it. The two of them were equally as stubborn, equal matches in a game where one would see who could crack first.

April frowned at him, glancing around the dojo to try and find a peace of mind to keep talking to him. Like she had first thought, she couldn't be mean. Then he would shut down completely and her efforts would be futile. If she could just figure out what was wrong! Was it his leg? Did something happen between him and Raph? Did he see-

Oh. Her.

He was upset about her. Right? That must be it. Nothing had gone wrong yet lately, things relatively quiet in the city above. This had to be the reason. She glanced at him again, only to find out that he had turned his head to look away, avoiding eye contact. He clearly wasn't going to say anything if April wouldn't insist.

"You're thinking about Karai." That wasn't a question, and Leo just closed his eyes with a sigh, confirming her suspicion. "You're worried about her."

"Yes. But I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?" Her voice was softer again now, as she frowned concerned. "You can't blame yourself for what happened, Leo, you know it."

"We should have her here, sound and safe now!" He snapped again, but this time April didn't flinch at all. She knew it was going to happen. "We should have saved her from Shredder already. She should be here, with us, with Splinter... I just..." His voice trailed off as he lowered his shoulders with one more sigh. "I failed every time I tried to help her."

"She's still out there somewhere, right?" April asked him, her voice somewhat firm, making him look up at her. "Karai is still out there. She's alive. Uh, I know she's under Shredder's control, that's true. But she's there." The girl placed a hand on the turtle's shoulder and squeezed softly, offering him a small smile. "We still have a chance, Leo." He just nodded quietly in response, so she continued. "Now, I understand you're worried and you don't want to bother us, but you can't always bottle your emotions like this. It's like filling a balloon with water. Sometime it will explode."

"They don't need more things to worry about." He said simply. "What they need is a leader, not a weak crying baby."

"I think that bridge has already been crossed, honestly." She admitted to him, watching as he gave her a confused expression. "Leo, you don't think we notice you upset about something? They see something is off with you, Leo."

Guilt crossed his face, making April's heart break more. "They want to help, more than anything."

"I...I don't know how they can, April."

"Just-"

"I can't talk to them, not without breaking down. I don't need Raph making fun of me." He grimly interrupted her, knowing April would just suggest talking again. "I'm acting ridiculous right now, even. And maybe you're just in denial. I've been failing since the minute we got back from the city. All I have tried to do-for Sensei, for my brothers, for her..."

April couldn't take it anymore, unable to hold herself back as she wrapped her arms around Leo as she embraced him. He stiffened at first, and April wondered if he had been holding his breath when she was hugging him, but he leaned into her, only move his hands up so they were on top of her arms, gripping onto them.

"That's where you're wrong." She whispered to him, pulling away from the hug and gripping instead on his shoulders to look at him. "And I intend to prove that to you."

"How?"

Leo shouldn't have asked, because before he knew it the redheaded kunoichi had him up on his feet and dragged him to the living area where his brothers were. She held a grip tight on his hand and it was a surprisingly good one - no doubt her training had helped her become almost if not already as strong as the rest of them.

That didn't mean he wanted to do this, to talk in front of everyone. "Wait! April, stop! No!" He was trying to dig his feet into the ground to prevent them from moving any further. "I'm not gonna talk in front of them! I don't need them seeing me break down!"

April didn't respond, only glancing back at him before continuing to lead him out of the dojo and join with the others. Raph was about to open the first pizza box when April waved to call their attention, still dragging Leo with her.

"Oh, look who finally left the cave." The darker turtle smirked at his older brother, who just glanced down sideways, giving up on trying to get free from the girl's grip, but still visibly unconfortable. April wasn't amused at Raph's reaction but she ignored it, with a smile.

"Who's up for a dinner under the stars tonight?"

"For what?" Everyone looked up at her, even Leo.

"Come on, this would be good. Everyone here is in a serious need for some fresh air and relaxation. What's better than pizzas on a roof at night, far away from the world?"

"Technically it's not far aw- Ow!" Donnie was interrupted by Casey who elbowed him with a glare and then got up, walking to the girl.

"Red is right. You guys are all stressed lately." The boy winked at April, who just rolled her eyes, but demonstrated to be satisfied he was taking her side. "I think it won't hurt to change the background a bit, huh?"

"Can I go too?" Mikey got up right after Casey, his eyes shining in anticipation. "This reminds me of the very first time we ate a pizza in our lives. It was like my brain exploded!"

"Exploding or not, it clearly didn't make much of a difference." Raph groaned but got up too, followed by Donnie. Triumphantly, April led the way out of the lair, with all the boys right behind her carrying the pizza boxes.

Once outside, they all felt a cool summer breeze rush by them, feeling almost nice and relaxing in comparison to the sewers, not that it still didn't feel like home.

Once they all gathered onto the roof, the pizza box being flung open and slices disappearing within a matter of seconds, April then decided to begin what they all were up there to do in the first place.

"Alright, guys?" April's voice piped up among the teasing and pizza eating. "There's something we need to talk about." From the corner of her eye she saw Leo's eyes immediately glue to her, almost glaring at her. He knew what the topic would be and he was not looking forward to it.

"Back at Northampton, we went through a lot-"

"Why are we talking about this months after it happened?" Raph asked, annoyance filling his voice once again.

"Because the pain we felt there followed us home, Raph." April answered, glancing to see Leo flinch at Raph's words. "And there's still pain in the city we had left it for months ago."

With that everyone had glanced over at Leo, who couldn't return their gaze as he just looked far out at the bright lights of the city.

April decided to bring focus away from the leader, clearing her throat so everyone snapped back to attention.

"We never really had a talk about it."

"So what, this is some sympathy circle? Where we talk about our feelings?" Casey snorted, his chuckling soon dying down as April's blue eyes glared coldly into his own.

"Yes." She almost hissed, clenching her fists at the boy. "Or at least what happened to each of us there."

"We were attacked by mutants of all sorts." Mikey offered, eating a bite of pizza and ignoring the groan that erupted from his brothers.

"Yes," April sighed, "that did happen, but I mean in a more emotional sense."

Silence fell again amongst them, each looking around at one another to see if this was all a joke, or if someone would actually speak up. Even Michelangelo, who always found something to say in a silent moment like this, just focused on taking small bites on the warm crust of the pizza.

This was going to be a bit harder than the kunoichi had expected, but she couldn't give up now. Honestly, she wasn't sure she could even get them to come outside with her, so the plan was at least slowly progressing...

"Come on, guys." She insisted. "I think we all have something weighing us down right now, and we need to let it out in order to be able to keep going. The path ahead isn't any walk in the park and we need to have our minds at least a bit lighter if we want to succeed."

"Then why don't you begin, April?" Raph offered sarcastically. "Since you're so eager to do this."

She glanced at him firmly to the point of making him uncomfortable. "Alright, Raphael. It's just fair."


End file.
